Thursday, March 29, 2007
help.. rly, seriously help..
dis is somethin rly serious and true.. i cant stand being lonely.. realy. i wan to call my frens and pour out all my sorrows bt i dun haf the guts to do so over the phone.. cos i noe i mite cry if i did so.i wan to throw away all my sadness ans tell myself to gif up.. he will infinity% nvr lyk u.. i cant.. i tried. rly rly tried very hard.. dis is the first tym i ever felt so helpless when i lyk someone.. first tym..shld i tel him?? wad if he reject me.. i wan to type everythin out into dis post.. bt i noe i will b seriously embarrassed if it gets around.. i wanna mention his name.. bt no. i cant. i haf the serious urge to tel him.. but i jux haf to control. everyone has a limit. and i tink i am very close to my so called limit.. im dying.. if oni i knew u.. if oni we same skl, same classi noe i sound seriously pathetic and simply unlike me. everyone expects me to be strong, tough. dats wad all my family members tink of me.. dats oni the outside of me.. i am rly nt strong.. neither am i tough.. certainly nt.. i sound weak.. i am weak.. i am a stupid loser hu jux gives up without tryin. my frens can tok to him normally. y cant i?? i even nid to tink b4 i sae hi to him.. y am i such an idiot.. y?! believe it or nt.. i haf nvr told a guy i like him/haf a crush on him. i oni tel my very very close frens.. bt sometyms it slips out and the whole world noes..dats when i sometimes noe wad im missin out on.. sometyms a guy dat i lyk actually lyks me.. bt i dare nt come clean. by the tym the whole truth is out. half of dem wil come and tel me sry, bt i tot u dun lyk me lerhs so i lyk someone else oredi.. sad eh?i wish i can open up.. i wish i can b less shy and idiotic.. i wish i was nt me.. bt god made me me for a reason.. bt y cant i ever get the guy i wan? y?? dis is lyk the first tym i ever felt lyk dis.. my frens dun feel the way i feel towards u.. so y do i? y?! wads dat bout u???i am so tired.. he jux online.. shld i sae hi? or shld i jux ignore him.. i once tot of blockin him.. cos i dunno wad to tok to him bout.. help! i wanna change my attitude, i wan to look better. i wan to feel better.. y cant i? i am so tired.. wads soo wrong about me? wad is it? y muz u suddenly appear in my lyf? i wish u nvr existed.. no no.. i wish i nvr existed. i am alwaes lost when it comes to tings lyk love.. i am pretty gd at makin frens.. infact i do so quickly.. bt makin fren wif someone i love.. aint gonna b dat easy ..especially if u are a stupid ugly girl lyk me.. i rly gotta get a grip.. xy is tryin to help me too.. i appreciate it but i tink if dis goes on.. shes gonna get seriously fustrated and irritated at me..my mind is runnin wild.. i am mad.. and sad.. and stupid.. and ugly.. and depressed.. and love sickbyeLabels: being lame
Thursday, March 29, 2007